CEO / Master of Time Space and Dimension / Shop Dog
A Sagittarius with a penchant for Tuna Linguini and pissing on the neighbor’s lawn Mia has been a staple at the shop. Her sole purpose is to scare newcomers with her ferociousness and Mastiff like barking and spinning bad Italo Disco with late 50’s Lounge Music. Her mother was a 12 year old French Bulldog named Chloe with webbed paws while her father was a relentlessly self-improving Pincher from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. Her father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented Punk music and the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. Her childhood was typical, summers in San Bernardino, luge lessons, in the Spring they’d make meat helmets and chase trout.
When Mia is not sleeping under the check-out counter or barking at the clients she provides endless love and mental stability to the staff hence her role as CEO / Supreme being master of time, space and dimension.
VP Quality Control
A Gemini with an esurient for Turkish cuisine, Iron Man came to us after a bad trip along the multiverse. With his world at peace and out of a job Iron Man was quick to accept a position as VP of Quality Control here at Tondo, a job he takes far too seriously, insisting on a Ramen only diet for the Archivists and other such nonsense including 14 lashes for incorrect matrix information.
Director of Packaging and Logistic Sherpa
A Virgo with a gluttonous affection for Akebia Quinata, The Hulk arrived on a two-for-one trade with Marvel. The Hulk came out of retirement after losing to Thanos and a period of deep solitude in the Nuwaubian Monastery of “Valle di Titrovotipesto”. Not surprisingly in conflict with the monks The Hulk decided that Tondo Music was a better place. Great at throwing packages across oceans he struggles with handling tape and folding paper but his 3 month trial period is not over yet so we remain fiduciose.
The Missing Link
Coffee Maker and Digital Marketing Overlord
A temperamental Scorpio with a fondness for fondue and falafel the Missing Link is a client turned employee after he brew an insane cup of Chicco D’oro, naturally corrected with enough Val Mara moonshine to kill a baby donkey. As Digital Overlord all ideas we come up are his ideas and as his ego would have it, without him, Tondo Music would simply fall apart. We do not know if this is true or not, but we like his self confidence.