Mia
CEO / Master of Time Space and Dimension / Shop Dog
A Sagittarius with a penchant for Tuna Linguini and pissing on the neighbor’s lawn Mia has been a staple at the shop. Her sole purpose is to scare newcomers with her ferociousness and Mastiff like barking and spinning bad Italo Disco with late 50’s Lounge Music. Her mother was a 12 year old French Bulldog named Chloe with webbed paws while her father was a relentlessly self-improving Pincher from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. Her father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented Punk music and the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. Her childhood was typical, summers in San Bernardino, luge lessons, in the Spring they’d make meat helmets and chase trout.
When Mia is not sleeping under the check-out counter or barking at the clients she provides endless love and mental stability to the staff hence her role as CEO / Supreme being master of time, space and dimension.
Iron Man
VP Quality Control
A Gemini with an esurient for Turkish cuisine, Iron Man came to us after a bad trip along the multiverse. With his world at peace and out of a job Iron Man was quick to accept a position as VP of Quality Control here at Tondo, a job he takes far too seriously, insisting on a Ramen only diet for the Archivists and other such nonsense including 14 lashes for incorrect matrix information.
The Hulk
Director of Packaging and Logistic Sherpa
A Virgo with a gluttonous affection for Akebia Quinata, The Hulk arrived on a two-for-one trade with Marvel. The Hulk came out of retirement after losing to Thanos and a period of deep solitude in the Nuwaubian Monastery of “Valle di Titrovotipesto”. Not surprisingly in conflict with the monks The Hulk decided that Tondo Music was a better place. Great at throwing packages across oceans he struggles with handling tape and folding paper but his 3 month trial period is not over yet so we remain fiduciose.
The Missing Link
Coffee Maker and Digital Marketing Overlord
A temperamental Scorpio with a fondness for fondue and falafel the Missing Link is a client turned employee after he brew an insane cup of Chicco D’oro, naturally corrected with enough Val Mara moonshine to kill a baby donkey. As Digital Overlord all ideas we come up are his ideas and as his ego would have it, without him, Tondo Music would simply fall apart. We do not know if this is true or not, but we like his self confidence.
Playmobils
Board of Directors / Groupies
They are judging us! That’s for sure. Every single action here at Tondo is monitored by them, you can call them Gods but they are so useful: they invented the formula “n+1”.
Like the Gremlins (or sort of) do not feed them before 12PM!
If you do so prepare yourself to be surrounded (and surrendered) by wild groupies that will destroy the entire shop… we did that once… our archivist, sick of eating ramen (it’s his punishment, but we will get into it another time), fed them… it’s been 3 days of war and destruction… we calmed them down with a precious record in our possession from a Peter Island Gospel Singer, Sir. Philipp H. Freeman: his marvellous voice brought peace and prosperity back.
What a hell of a ride.
Mimotto aka Crack
Events organiser, Party crasher, Motivator
Fun Master, Party Hard Dude and Life guru, Crack was a “all-round life experimenter” (I won’t go deeper than that…) until he decided to change his life for good. We found him at the Valle Maggia Magic Blues: he helped us selling our records, that was a game changer folks!
He pushes you to the limit to achieve our best here at the shop, then he takes all the credit and disappear for a couple of days partying like a wild animal.
He sells, he posts records, he’s good at packaging any kind of stuff…. kind of better than the archivist (Yeah yeah we will get into that! Be patient!!).
Can’t live without him!
All hail the Crack